Motherhood has given me countless life-changing experiences that I will surely never forget. Becoming a mother for the first time has been a whirlwind of trials and triumphs, pushing me to be more resourceful, resilient, strong-minded, patient, and compassionate. Today, I want to share my journey and the life lessons I’ve gained over the past two years as a first-time mother.
✨Acknowledging my pregnancy✨
At first, my husband and I thought we might have difficulties conceiving due to our ongoing health issues. For that reason, we were concerned about how long it would take us to conceive. We thought it might take months or even years for us to have a successful pregnancy. So we were as surprised as anyone when we found out I was pregnant.
The day we discovered I was pregnant, I had an emotional breakdown and had to call off work. I was overwhelmed by family issues and wasn’t in the right state of mind to consider the stress I was putting on my body. While I was explaining my feelings and the unusual changes in my body to my husband, he suddenly asked a question that caught me off guard: "Maybe you might be pregnant. Do you want to take a pregnancy test?" Initially, I thought, "What a ridiculous conclusion!" but then I reconsidered. I grabbed one of the ovulation kits I had bought earlier, which also included a pregnancy test. The result was positive. At first, we were both in denial about the outcome, so we bought more pregnancy tests to confirm the result. By the fourth pregnancy test, we were sure that I was pregnant, though we didn’t know how far along I was.
✨The First Ultrasound and during my pregnancy🤰
In April 2022, we went for my first ultrasound at the hospital. We informed the doctor that we didn’t know how far along I was and that I had been experiencing a lot of depressive thoughts. The joy of seeing a positive test, combined with the fear of the unknown, was taking a toll on my mental health. When we saw the monitor screen and located the baby, we discovered I was already 14 weeks pregnant. My initial thought was, "Oh, there is a baby inside me already." Seeing the fetus with a spine, feet, head, and hands already formed, my anxiety skyrocketed. Although I may have appeared calm, I was panicking with mixed emotions about handling the pregnancy. I had millions of questions in my head: "Am I capable of raising a child? A human being? Can I handle the smell of vomit?" Luckily, we had an amazing doctor at the first check-up who reassured me that I would be fine. She advised me to go outside more often, soak up the sun, and consider therapy during my pregnancy.
Fun fact: From then on, we affectionately called our new bundle of joy "Butter" because he reminded us of the "I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter" brand.
After confirming the pregnancy, we gradually informed family and close friends about our exciting news. I was nervous about telling my coworkers and employer, but they were understanding and supportive. I continued working throughout my pregnancy, keeping myself busy and staying on my feet during work hours as a way to stay active.
A few months before our baby’s arrival, we had a simple, COVID-free gender reveal party with a selected group of people and Zoom meeting guests. We were thrilled to learn that we were having a boy. I had always wanted a baby boy.
Then came the nesting part of my pregnancy journey. Setting up the crib, changing pad, baby clothes, stroller, diapers, and new baby cabinets was a major home reset before his arrival. The hand-me-down clothes, toys, books from coworkers, and baby rocking chairs were incredibly helpful during the newborn stage.
✨Giving Birth experiences👶
I’m not going to sugarcoat it; my birth experience was traumatic. It was nothing like I had imagined. For someone afraid of pain, it was a hundred times worse than I expected. I don’t want to go into details, but the process of admission, labor, and hospital stay were experiences I never want to go through again. Everything was a blur, and I sometimes get flashbacks and confirm them with my husband. Each birth is a unique experience, though. It might be traumatic for me but a beautiful experience for someone else.
As soon as they handed me my newborn baby, all the pain from labor disappeared. I was overwhelmed with joy, looking at him as a whole and healthy little human being. My thought was, "This little fella is my son." He was larger than I expected and had a lot of hair. I had pictured him as a bald-headed baby, but I almost forgot my husband and I are blessed with thick hair.
✨My Support System✨👫
As much as motherhood is a personal journey, it’s also about the support system you have during challenging times. I’m especially grateful for my devoted husband, who never left my side during labor and our post-delivery set up in the hospital room. He took care of the baby while I was bedridden and continued to support us during the first few weeks at home. I can never thank him enough for his love and support while my body recovered from labor and while he was attentive to our newborn.
Our second source of support was my mother-in-law. She took care of us in every way—cooking, bathing the baby, and preparing a special ginger bath to help my body recover quickly from childbirth. She was the first to bathe the baby and teach us how to do it. We were so thankful for her undivided devotion as we navigated this new chapter of our lives.
✨Cherishing the little moments during the newborn stage👩🍼
One of the most humbling aspects of being a first-time mother is realizing that I had no clue how to care for a newborn on my own. I absorbed a lot of new information in a short time.
The early days with our newborn were filled with feeding, diaper changing, burping, and rocking the baby to sleep every 1–2 hours. We took turns caring for him. Amid the chaos, pumping time, fatigue, and coffee-fueled days, I tried to capture every new discovery about our baby. His hands and feet are shaped like mine, while his nail beds resemble my husband’s. I’m amazed at how much hair he has and was surprised at his length when he was born.
✨To Look Forward👣
As I transition from being a newbie mom to a toddler mom, I’ve learned to embrace the uncertainties and trust my intuition. Being a first-time mother is a transformative experience filled with highs and lows, firsts and trials, along with loving and connecting with my baby, who makes every moment special.
I look forward to creating fun memories with my mini family. I want to visit places with him that my husband and I enjoyed, such as our trips to Hawaii and Seattle. I hope that when he grows up, he will remain humble, optimistic, and strong and that he will appreciate us as his parents.
To all the new moms: believe in yourself and know you’re doing your best for your baby. Embrace the journey, cherish the little moments, and give your baby the purest love.
This will be the start of my mommy blogging. More blog posts to come soon!
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